• SumoMe

Don't be this guy for the costume party...

In general, men are lazy regarding many things, including (but not limited to): leaving empty shampoo bottles in the shower, not cleaning toilets, not removing stains from clothing, watching football all day on Sunday, and getting dressed on weekdays. However, there is one thing that many men are lazy about which really drives me up the wall–costumes for costume parties.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays for many reasons. Most notably is the ability to wear a costume and pretend to be something totally crazy–it’s sort of like a “get out of jail free” card for the real world. Want to show up to work as a pirate with less likelihood of your boss yelling at you? Do it on Halloween. Additionally, the Halloween season is really the only common time of year that costume parties take place.

Despite this, many males show up to costume parties “as themselves” or with a t-shirt as a costume (see the featured image). Part of putting some skin in the game is showing up to a costume party in a costume. It’s as easy as cutting up cereal boxes, pinning them to an undershirt, and splattering red paint on it and calling yourself a “cereal killer.” Crude? Absolutely. However, it’s still a costume, it’s still a pun, and people will still get it. You don’t need to show up like Prince Poppycock or anything, but just show that you can play along at a costume party. Nobody throws a costume party wanting everyone to show up “as themselves,” they could have just had a normal party if they wanted that.

Knowing that Halloween is a week away, I’ve thought of some quick and easy costumes that you can put together and still show up to the party without being a downer:

  1. The most interesting man in the world: This is seriously easy. Get a black suit (pinstripes optional), a white shirt, no tie, and a fake/dyed white beard. You should probably have the suit and shirt, so I see a total cost being around $5 for the beard (unless you can grow your own and have white hair). A Dos Equis bottle and a cigar might give some additional clues for the viewer.
  2. Kim Jong-Il: I actually saw my friend pull this off very successfully at a costume party last weekend. This is super easy. Hit up your local thrift store and find a beige jumpsuit (they always have jumpsuits) and some massive glasses. Then, put a pillow inside the jumpsuit or use your own gut if you’ve got one. Lastly, if you have dark hair, you can just gel your hair up like he does, or those with lighter hair might want a wig. Boom, done.
  3. Jeffrey Lebowski/Walter Sobchak: For those who have seen The Big Lebowski, this will come as a treat. Jeffrey Lebowski is the ultimate slacker, and as such all you need is a grey hoodie with some ridiculous pants and flip flops. Walter Sobchak is a Vietnam vet who wears fishing vests and shorts at all time of the day. Facial hair is pretty crucial for both these characters, as well as Lebowski’s hair. This idea is better for long-hairs.
  4. Gold prospector: This one might be tricky because the equipment is key to anyone knowing who/what you are. Overalls, flannel shirt, hat, and boots. Guys with beards get the extra points, same to anyone with real equipment.
  5. Quailman: For anyone who grew up watching Doug on Nickelodeon (which is basically everyone in their mid-20s at this point) this is instantly recognizable. The clothing is pretty basic, and even allows you to wear tennis shoes and shorts for the night. The tricky (and most essential) part is fabricating the headpiece out of wire and a belt. However, have some ingenuity and figure it out. It will be well worth it.
There are so many possibilities for easy costumes, and the fun you can have with the minimal time and effort put into creating a costume is well worth it. Now go out there and pretend to be something else for a day, will you?